To my Bff on her 30th

Amy- 13 years is how long we have known each other I have never passed out,peed my pants, and thrown up more then with anyone but you..in light of this special day lets recap on some of our adventures together. You slapping my face when i broke my arm on the mountain, You singing prince in the mall with the indian people,the christmas i got a video camera and taped everything, driving to horse shows at 3am..or having to walk up the road to get your horses that escaped in the middle of the night, Taking Marianna to the treasure chest for an american experience, the night i played 20 questions with dylan, crying my eyes out at your wedding, going to the diary corner every other night when you were pregnant with warren,being my dula when i was in labor, play dates, hours and hours of phone conversations break ups and make ups you have always been there for me and are truly a great friend, I hope that you have had a great birthday with many more to come I can't wait to see what our adventures will be next.

Love ya
 
        Stephanie

Bonus!! Sick Day

Today was my first day home with a sick toddler. For the most part my child has been pretty healthy not really a big puker in that area i have been grateful. Today however I was not so lucky, ever seen a toddler with a stomach flu? it was like the exorcist in my living room. I was so in shocked with the distance she was getting with last nights dinner there was nothing to i could do to prevent it from happening. Then I went into panic mode..what the do i do...clear liquids? toast? do to starve or feed the flu? I went with starving the flu and after a four hour nap it seems to be working. So liv is at the age where she asks me for stuff juice is usually on the top of the list. Everyone tells me its best to water down the juice.. However if she sees me pouring water into the juice she will not drink it. so i find myself racing to get the water in before she sees me its such an adrenaline rush i hear her little feet running round the conner right as I'm slamming the water jug down, as long as she sees the juice go in we are golden.  I got this whole mom thing on lock down.

Mom of the year moment

After nap time my daughter always has a poop in her diaper. Today was no different, I have her on the changing table I'm doing the whole clean up thing I go to do the classic diaper roll up, and the ball of poop rolls out and splat lands on her chest. It was totally like a meat ball size poop that was hard enough to in a ball form but soft enough to leave poop marks on her shirt so gross. I immediately took off the shirt and gave her a bath cause I felt like it just had to be done.  Oh yeah Mom of the Year Moment of the week...Dropping poop on my daughter

You Can't Eat my Bestfriend

The compound I live on is one pony ride away from charging admission to pull in our yard. In the past few weeks two wild ducks have wondered into our yard, and have made a pretty nice home for themselves.With three different chicken condos to rest in, all you can eat fed and cracked corn, and a lovely man made pond to splash around in who can blame them for moving in. I personally have a love/hate relationship with ducks, Flash back to when I was probably 4 years old I remember going to Smiling Hill Farm to feed the ducks, and geese. They would seriously run me down for a piece of moldy bread and hiss at me which is so not cool. On the other hand I once got a pretty life size ceramic duck cookie jar from a yard sale when i was a preteen that had a red bow around its neck that i thought was the coolest thing and used it as a change jar for many years, till I cracked the neck and had to trash it much to my future husbands joy ..Anyway back to present time the two ducks have become 1 duck because apparently the male duck only hangs around when there is a chance to get some sweet duck loving and after that ship has sailed he is on his way, which my Father In-law three beers in tells me that should be the only way to live. Well every morning Gerty, Yes i named the Duck Gerty, stands in the yard screaming for her man to come back, MMmhmhm we have all been there girl. My father In-law who works 3rd shift Is not to impressed with this and has declared we will be having Roasted Duck for the Fourth of July. Man I'm not a vegetarian bu any means but i really just can't eat meat that i have named. My protesting hippie side came out and I was ready to make save Gerty signs. Last night in the pouring rain I ran out in to the petting zoo to free her from the old chicken tractor she was in awaiting her death. I open the door and she hissed at me...Really not cool man, I shoo her and click and do every sort of animal noise i can think of but she doesn't move.  After about 5mins of trying...I know right real effort there, In my defense it was pouring out and i was only wearing Old Navy's classic $2 flip flops i was getting cold. I left the door open and ran back in the house to call my Father In-Law. After about 10mins of pleading and one store bought Duck later Gerty is free to roam the compound. :)

Webbles Wabble But They Don't Fall Down

I recently decided to go back to school to finish the degree I had started like 6 years ago. Yeah I know I'm kinda slow but whatever at least I'm going back. I did pretty good with my time management for the first two MODS, but this last mod (10weeks) is really chaffing my ass. I have to do an externship which is pretty much an internship why they call it an externship I don't really know I'm sure someone told me at one point but as you can see it was such an interesting fact that I can't remember. My major is early childhood education so my externship is at a preschool/ daycare center 4 hrs 3 days a week for 10 weeks, sounds like a good math problem. Now I had never really worked at a preschool before so I didn't really know what to expect. Here's an over view of the room...about 20 3 year olds...enough said. The room is filled with mini tables and chairs,  low shelves, housekeeping center, blocks, cars, paint, library and a giant fun rug for their circle time. My first thought in entering this room is to be super nice to all the kids, they don't know me and were probably going to be weirded out, well i was wrong the thing about 3 year olds is most of them are just happy to be alive. Not even 3 mins into being there I had three kids in front of me telling me their life story..."whats your name?" "do you have a sister?" "I have a sister her name is sarah" "I went to funtown this weekend" Ooo something shiny....In my quest to be the most coolest externshiper to ever set foot into this place, I decide that when on the play ground instead of sitting in the shade sipping on iced coffee and flavored waters like the rest of the teachers I was going to stand in the blazing heat and push kids on the swings, 4 at a time i might add..that takes skills, I also ran around trying to catch them, ate make believe ice cream, and placed pass. I thought it was sad that all the teachers were just sitting around not wanted to play with the kids .By the third week I understood why..once you start you cant stop..I pushed, and ran, and passed for three weeks straight in the 95 degree weather do you think for one sec those kids would want to sit down and just enjoy the air...NOPE push me higher, eat more ice cream..Shit I don't want anymore fake ice cream I want the real shit its hot out here until you can produce something cold I'm going over to the shade to pray I'm not going to have a heart attack. I prayed for at least one rainy day a week so i could have a day off so to speak. The indoor activities are fun we pretty much just paint, color, play with play dough..or eat it in some cases read books and dance..that's right we dance..oh to be a fly on the wall, if you weren't amused by watching grown adults sitting in mini chairs, watching them dance to children's songs would totally make your day. especially when your the only one dancing and they are all looking at you like you just had a seizure. After the hour of running around in the heat..the 20mins of dancing to the magic school bus, and 30mins of trying to get lil tommy to stop eating the play dough its time for lunch. Lunch is usually the last half hour before I leave. The center provides lunch for the children, the three days I am there its Monday Chicken nuggets, Tuesday pizza, Wednesday sandwich, along with veggies and some sort of fruit. BY this point I am starving..My only hope is that these kids wont eat all the nuggest and I will get to eat a few so that I dont pass out on the way home. No such luck..usually these little muchkins eat like 5 nuggets a piece, so im stuck looking for a sugar packet or baby puffs in my car to eat on the way home. All in all its usually a pretty good day, by the time i get home its almost 1 meaning i get to feed my baby bear and out us down for nap. the problem with this is im napping instead of finishing my homework thats due that night like im use to doing so im always stuck bullshitting something by 530 so its at least not late. Awww the joys of being a college student 5 more weeks and im done :)

Big City Weekend

This weekend was a girls weekend trip to my cousins bridal shower in CT, well mostly Girls my brother did go. This was the first time I was doing an over night trip with my 9 month old daughter. The kind of over night trip that's two far away to run back home if your child has a panic attack on the mass pike. Surprising to me..she wasn't a problem on the car ride at all, besides getting mildly annoyed towards the end of our 3.5 hour ride she was pretty good. We did have to stop several times but not for the baby or the 8month pregnant lady in the car but for my 25 year old brother that just drank a cup of coffee and had to pee every hour. There was a moment durning the trip where he where he almost peed in an old Dunkin Donuts cup the only thing that stopped him was that he couldn't do it sitting down..between that and the farting and constants radio changing i was glad that he was my brother so that I could verbal abuse him and not get shit for it later....Aww almost 4 hours later nothing like showing up to a CT bridal shower to make you feel like a northern Maine red neck. Can we just talk about how my old navy "fancy shirt" was their Tuesday lounge wear. These woman were dressed to the nine, there was couch, prada, and Gucci labels everywhere.."Who's cute baby is that?" "Oh you mean the one eating dirt and throwing her shoe at people that would be mine" the dresses the were being worn were dresses I would of expected to see at the wedding not a bridal shower I can't even imagine what people are going to wear to this wedding...:::Note to self, show up late when everyone is already drunk so they don't remember what you looked like:::: Any who seeing how I have decided that my diet starts Monday I went to town on the awesome spread of food they had, cause if there's one thing about these gatherings you can always count on good food...Mini sandwiches on croissant rolls, I mean I'm use to at least hot dog buns or the plain ol' bread this was amazing..huge fruit bowls with real fruit not the kinda you get from a can, Cesar salad, pasta salad, cake cookie, cheese and crackers yummy..After stuffing myself and my bag with delicious food, and my kid pooping out her birth weight it was time to wrap it up and head to my grams house were we will be spending the night. Its the moment of truth...I look over i see the eye rub from my daughter..the sleep eyes, the annoyed look at all her toys...oooh the classic back arch out of your arms pick me up..put my down...no wait pick me back up..Yes it was time for bed this was the moment i feared for this whole trip, I went to put her down doing our normal bedtime routine, just like parents magazine told me to do, put her into the pack and play ....and all hell breaks lose, shes screaming and screaming..so i give her some time to relax, but pretty much tire herself out and you know what it worked..it was quiet Jesus Mary and Joesph as my brother would say i cant believed it work ahh yes i am the master victory dance for me....4 hours later shes awake..damnit...and shes pissed...its not 2am I'm half awake and mildly confused as to where I am cause I make my way over to her pick her up  give her a bottle change her diapers and rock her to sleep. I notice her Chubs are cold so think, as any super mom would maybe I should put her long pj pants on cause maybe she is cold. I put her on the bed, fishing through my suit case at the foot of the bed with my right hand, my left hand on her stomach i can not find them of course even though i just had them hours before..So I give her my cell phone to play with let go of her stomach to hold up the suit case flap for 2 secs look up and she has ninja rolled to the other side of the bed and was falling face first off the bed. It was like watching in in slow mo, this can not be good of course she freaks out and is now screaming, i start crying cause i feel like a horrible mom, and freak myself out that she is going to have a brain hemerage or something so decided that she is going to lay in bed with me the rest of the night..There curled up in my arms on the bed my daughter slept so peacefully it was like watching a hallmark commercial. How do I know this you ask...well I couldn't let her fall off the bed twice in one night I was already not getting my mom of the month prize I couldn't lose my chance of mom of the year...so I stayed away dozing off from time to time waking up at the slightest moment or weird breathing I heard, and just like clockwork 615am lil baby bear blinks her eyes smiles at me and wants to immediately wants to get up and play..no morning snugglefest for this mom..no we are dancing and playing with measuring cups..after my last delicious breakfast before my diet (waffles,sausage,bacon,toaster strudels) we headed home..all and all good weekend fun times Diet Starts Monday!!

Put Down the Raspberry Squares!

In the last 24 hours I have managed to eat at least 3/4 of a 8x8 pan of raspberry squares. It happened so fast I must of blacked out, but before I knew it my face was covered in delicious graham cracker crust and an empty pan was staring back at me..screaming you did this to me..I didn't even have time to cool before your sausage fingers were dipping into my jelly filling. For some reason however this didn't seem to bother me...that is until I did what every fat person hates the most..went shopping for clothes. On the eve of my favorite cousins bridal shower staring at my closet full of shirts that I don't like enough to wear but don't hate enough to throw out I decided I truly had nothing to wear and had to go find something NOW! So I packed up my baby and headed down to the local Old Navy, cause I'm not fancy enough to wear something from the Mall but thought it should be a little nicer then something I would find at target or Wal-Mart. After circling the women's section 37 times I managed to find three shirts that I felt could maybe not look horrible on me. There I was Standing in the dressing room staring at myself in the mirror like oh my god what did you do. There was the raspberry squares getting there revenge on me by planting themselves in my ass. Again I must of passed out by the site of my pale white asses staring back at me that before I knew it my Kid had pulled all the shirts off the hangers and had put them in her mouth. I don't know how but i managed to find a shirt that I feel looked the best however I'm sure there will be photos later that will make me regret that discussion. While I was returning the two now soggy shirts back to the sales woman It came to me that I need to do something about my asses so hopefully by me blogging my efforts it will keep me honest and moving forward cause seriously there should only be an ass in the back not the front and the back.